Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Bin Laden responds to Bush: "You have succeeded where I have failed."

Congratulations my nemisis, Mr. George W. Bush.

Allah be praised. You have succeeded where I have failed.

When I ordered the Twin Towers to be hit on 9/11, I did not expect the global realignment that occurred. I felt that Europe would run from America at the terror of seeing the towers fall. But thanks to you Mr. Bush, Americas global allies have all but abandoned you.

When I knocked down the Towers, I timed the event for maximum casualties. I was disappointed that only 3,000 infidel lives were lost. But thanks to you Mr. Bush, more than 3,000 additional lives have been lost. You have sent you your people to be walking targets on the streets of Baghdad. Allah willing, 20,000 more will die when they "surge" into Iraq.

Mr. Bush, when you took office, America was paying off its National Debt. That worried me, because my plan involves destroying the source of Americas power: the U.S. Dollar. If the world loses faith in your dollar, then your society will suffer and America will not be able to exert its influence. Thanks to you Mr. Bush, America is now nearly $9 Trillion in debt, with virtually no possibility now of being able to pay off the debt without massive social upheaval in America.

Thank you Mr. Bush for proposing last night to cut taxes while spending more on your military, and more on American Health Care. I know, even though you don't, that America today has more than $50 Trillion in social benefit promises in today's dollars. These are promises made to current and future Social Security recipients, drug benefit recipients, and more. Thank you for virtually guaranteeing the destruction of America through over promising and under taxing. Some day you will pay for these commitments by printing more dollars, thereby debasing America's currency, driving up inflation, driving up taxes, and eroding the equity and dollar holdings of Americans. Of course, you personally will be fine Mr. Bush, as your family has many dollars in foreign holdings through your investments in Carlisle Group.

Thank you also, Mr. Bush, for coming into Iraq and killing that infidel Saddam Hussein and his spawn. In my wildest dreams, I did not even consider this possibility. In the process you have isolated America, driven up your debt, shown the impotence of America, shown America to be brutal, polarized the middle east, and driven countless troops to my cause. The money flows into my purse because you have made me credible, and have proven my words t be correct.

Thank you also for the Abu Ghraib prison pictures. Thank you for the anarchy after the fall of Baghdad. Thank you for the secret prison network in Europe and the "dark flights" that take prisoners to foriegn lands to be tortured. Thank you for showing how cruel America is through torture. Thank you for your brutality at Guantanamo Bay. Thank you for eroding America's civil rights by illegally wire tapping your citizens, suspending habeas corpus, and authorizing the opening of the mail. You have done more harm to America's freedoms than I could ever have done!

You are masterful, Sir. You have succeded brilliantly where I have failed. Where I thought I would knock down a couple of buildings and then throw stones at your soldiers to kill them, you have elevated me (Allah be praised) and my cause. You have almost single handedly bankrupt America. Like a family deep in debt, someday you must come to terms with it.

May that day of reconing be as painful for America as the pain you have caused the people of Iraq.

Mr. Bush, keep making your promises. Keep spending your children's future recklessly. Keep debasing your currency. I could not do better myself

Your Partner in Destroying America,

Osama B. Laden

[Note: the CIA doubts the authenticity of these comments.]

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