Today is my last day in the financial advice and insurance sales world. I made it 15 months, which is about average for this industry. It's a tough business to be in, and I knew that. It's hard to "make it" in this business, and I knew that, too. I came into this business knowing that there was a high probability that I would not succeed in the manner that I wanted to succeed. But I decided to take a chance anyway, and for that I'm proud of myself.
I learned alot about financial matters that I think will serve me well, so no regrets. I had some great clients who I'll miss.
I think I've already found a job as a product manager for a medical software company. It's what I did at Microsoft before I left. I'm expecting an offer next week.
Jane will be in England next week visiting her mom, and I've decided to take the week off (a mini vacation of my own) and keep the kids at home. That will save on our huge day care bills, give me a chance to get to the know the kids a little better, and allow me a little down time prior to taking on this new job.
Today's lesson: When it's time to move on, move on.
---
diet update: Started at 203, presently at 190. Goal is 180.
Friday, April 29, 2005
Friday, April 22, 2005
TV Detox
It's now been one year since Jane and I arrived at our big decision to turn off satellite TV.
We decided instead to direct the $50/mo that we would have sent to DirecTV into a 529 college savings plan for the kids. This has allowed us to set aside an additional $600 for the kids college education. True, the amount we've saved is not nearly enough to send 3 kids to college, but its still better than setting aside an extra $0 for college.
The big decision to pull the plug on TV came after our control box failed, and DirecTV wanted to charge us big bucks for a new one.
Living sans satellite/cable TV has been good for our family. It has given us more control over what our kids see. Jane and I also watch less TV ourselves, and we have taken to recording those few shows on over-the-air TV that we are interested in. Because its a pain in the rear to program our VCR, we've had to become selective about what we watch. There's always a decent program on the tape that we can watch, should we need a TV fix and there be nothing good on.
Except for a couple of football games on ESPN, I do not feel that I've missed out on much. And kids at ages 5, 4 and 1, simply find something else to do.
If you've been considering TV detox, I would encourage you and tell you that, so far it has worked well for our family. At the very worst, we're $600 richer. Why pay upwards of $50 per month for a 150 channels of "nothing to watch," when you can pay nothing for about ten channels of "nothing to watch."
----
Diet update: Presently at 195. Lost nearly 8 lbs in less than 7 days. Eating as much as I want. Goal is 185.
We decided instead to direct the $50/mo that we would have sent to DirecTV into a 529 college savings plan for the kids. This has allowed us to set aside an additional $600 for the kids college education. True, the amount we've saved is not nearly enough to send 3 kids to college, but its still better than setting aside an extra $0 for college.
The big decision to pull the plug on TV came after our control box failed, and DirecTV wanted to charge us big bucks for a new one.
Living sans satellite/cable TV has been good for our family. It has given us more control over what our kids see. Jane and I also watch less TV ourselves, and we have taken to recording those few shows on over-the-air TV that we are interested in. Because its a pain in the rear to program our VCR, we've had to become selective about what we watch. There's always a decent program on the tape that we can watch, should we need a TV fix and there be nothing good on.
Except for a couple of football games on ESPN, I do not feel that I've missed out on much. And kids at ages 5, 4 and 1, simply find something else to do.
If you've been considering TV detox, I would encourage you and tell you that, so far it has worked well for our family. At the very worst, we're $600 richer. Why pay upwards of $50 per month for a 150 channels of "nothing to watch," when you can pay nothing for about ten channels of "nothing to watch."
----
Diet update: Presently at 195. Lost nearly 8 lbs in less than 7 days. Eating as much as I want. Goal is 185.
Thursday, April 21, 2005
The Miraculous Twins
Tim is a good friend of mine. I've known him for nearly 18 years, since college. He's very entrepreneurial, and has never had a regular job in his life. At his peak he earned about $500K per year, but now is down to about $200K, working out of his basement, taking care of very speciailized IT work for a couple of Fortune 500 clients. For as long as I've known him, he has been a very focused, hard working guy. He works hard and plays hard.
He was married about ten years ago, and things haven't gone very well. He and his wife Claire have a history of loud fights with one another. Tim explained it away as stress related to their inabilty to have children. He said both he and Claire desperately wanted kids. For years, they had undergone IVF treatments, but the process always ended in failure. After nearly $40,000, they decided to have one last try.
Claire and Tim are aethiests. I've been a Christian by birth, then by choice, and have always been willing to talk with anyone about what I believe. When he told me they were going to give IVF one last try, I offerred to put his need into some prayer chains. He said, "What the hell. We've tried everything else." So I did. I cut and pasted a prayer request into about a dozen chains that I found on the internet. The procedure occurred, and a week went by. Then another. Then another. Pretty soon Claire and Tim were becoming "cautiously optimistic." More weeks went by, and she was pronounced "safely pregnant." Healthy twins were born to them last December, and there was an outpouring of joy. There was no acknowledgement by Tim of the "prayer" contribution, as I expected. But I gave thanks for the outcome, just the same.
Now my story takes a turn for the worse. And let me just say for the record, I don't have all the facts -- just Tim's perspective delivered over the phone.
Four months later, Claire is completly stressed out. Tim hired a nanny to help, and a house cleaner. Claire gets every Friday off, and a couple hours a day to take care of family business. But her resentment to Tim's work habits have turned into vicious verbal attacks. Last February, Tim recorded one of the 30 minute outbursts while he was sitting at his PC trying to work. He sent it to me to ask my thoughts. I was really blown away by the vicousness of it, and the meanness her threats. She talked of running away with the kids, and he would never see them again because he was a terrible father.
Last week, the stress came to a head. Tim was working late and fell asleep in the basement. Claire had to feed the babies twice during the night, on her own. In the morning she ran downstairs screaming and yelling, telling him to get his ass up stairs and change the diapers. He did this, but put one of the diapers on backwards. She shoved him out of the way, hard. He shoved her back.
She called 911. He was arrested fifteen minutes later. Six squard cars responded. He cuffed and taken out in front of all the neighbors. Tim is charged with domestic abuse, and now has a restraining order against him and a court date. He's living in a hotel.
Somehow, he was able to convince the judge to let him keep working out of the basement, otherwise his income would have dried up. He is very angry and bitter and wants a divorce. I told him to take a little time to calm down.
Thankfully, Jane and I have never, ever fought like this. We've never screamed at each other. Our kids have been a complete blessing to us (so far).
I went home yesterday and gave my wife a big hug and a kiss, remembering what Tim told me after I was complaining to him about my personal income: "You've got a nice house, a wife who loves you, and great kids. You've got everything. Quit your bitching." That set me straight.
I would have like to have ended this story after the birth of the twins. What awonderful story it would have been, having the kids in a sort of "miraculous conception" and living happily everafter as a family.
So if there's any lesson to this story, it would probably be this: Having kids doesn't make domestic problems better. If your marriage isn't together, I won't be putting your name on a prayer chain to ask for kids (instead I'll ask people to pray for your marriage, which is what I'm doing today for Tim and Claire).
He was married about ten years ago, and things haven't gone very well. He and his wife Claire have a history of loud fights with one another. Tim explained it away as stress related to their inabilty to have children. He said both he and Claire desperately wanted kids. For years, they had undergone IVF treatments, but the process always ended in failure. After nearly $40,000, they decided to have one last try.
Claire and Tim are aethiests. I've been a Christian by birth, then by choice, and have always been willing to talk with anyone about what I believe. When he told me they were going to give IVF one last try, I offerred to put his need into some prayer chains. He said, "What the hell. We've tried everything else." So I did. I cut and pasted a prayer request into about a dozen chains that I found on the internet. The procedure occurred, and a week went by. Then another. Then another. Pretty soon Claire and Tim were becoming "cautiously optimistic." More weeks went by, and she was pronounced "safely pregnant." Healthy twins were born to them last December, and there was an outpouring of joy. There was no acknowledgement by Tim of the "prayer" contribution, as I expected. But I gave thanks for the outcome, just the same.
Now my story takes a turn for the worse. And let me just say for the record, I don't have all the facts -- just Tim's perspective delivered over the phone.
Four months later, Claire is completly stressed out. Tim hired a nanny to help, and a house cleaner. Claire gets every Friday off, and a couple hours a day to take care of family business. But her resentment to Tim's work habits have turned into vicious verbal attacks. Last February, Tim recorded one of the 30 minute outbursts while he was sitting at his PC trying to work. He sent it to me to ask my thoughts. I was really blown away by the vicousness of it, and the meanness her threats. She talked of running away with the kids, and he would never see them again because he was a terrible father.
Last week, the stress came to a head. Tim was working late and fell asleep in the basement. Claire had to feed the babies twice during the night, on her own. In the morning she ran downstairs screaming and yelling, telling him to get his ass up stairs and change the diapers. He did this, but put one of the diapers on backwards. She shoved him out of the way, hard. He shoved her back.
She called 911. He was arrested fifteen minutes later. Six squard cars responded. He cuffed and taken out in front of all the neighbors. Tim is charged with domestic abuse, and now has a restraining order against him and a court date. He's living in a hotel.
Somehow, he was able to convince the judge to let him keep working out of the basement, otherwise his income would have dried up. He is very angry and bitter and wants a divorce. I told him to take a little time to calm down.
Thankfully, Jane and I have never, ever fought like this. We've never screamed at each other. Our kids have been a complete blessing to us (so far).
I went home yesterday and gave my wife a big hug and a kiss, remembering what Tim told me after I was complaining to him about my personal income: "You've got a nice house, a wife who loves you, and great kids. You've got everything. Quit your bitching." That set me straight.
I would have like to have ended this story after the birth of the twins. What awonderful story it would have been, having the kids in a sort of "miraculous conception" and living happily everafter as a family.
So if there's any lesson to this story, it would probably be this: Having kids doesn't make domestic problems better. If your marriage isn't together, I won't be putting your name on a prayer chain to ask for kids (instead I'll ask people to pray for your marriage, which is what I'm doing today for Tim and Claire).
Saturday, April 16, 2005
Of Diets and Jobs
Today I'm starting the Southbeach Diet, weighing in at 203.
I simply woke up ready to try something new. I'll keep you posted.
As long as I'm changing things, why not toss a new career into the mix?
Today I met with a former colleague about a Product Manager job for a medical software company. I've enjoyed my year as a Financial Advisor, but can no longer afford to make the investment to stay in this business. I think I'm going to grab the new job, if the offer is remotely acceptable.
I simply woke up ready to try something new. I'll keep you posted.
As long as I'm changing things, why not toss a new career into the mix?
Today I met with a former colleague about a Product Manager job for a medical software company. I've enjoyed my year as a Financial Advisor, but can no longer afford to make the investment to stay in this business. I think I'm going to grab the new job, if the offer is remotely acceptable.
Tuesday, April 12, 2005
Cousin Elise and the email circuit
Elise is a younger cousin of mine, one of about 30 cousins that I grew up with on my mom's side of the family. We cousins would get together for just about all of the holidays, sometimes birthdays, and just-because.
Elise is a bit gullible, but a good communicator. I don't hear from many counsins these days, yet hardly a day goes by that I don't receive some kind of urgent email communication from Elise looking out for my best interests. Usually, its in the form of a email that begins with "SEND THIS TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW!!", "BILL GATES WILL GIVE YOU $10,000 FOR FORWARDING THIS EMAIL", 'HOW TO DELETE THIS VIRUS FROM YOUR COMPUTER," "HELP THIS CHILD LIVE!" "SEE PICTURES OF THE STRANGE DEEP SEA CREATURES FROM THE TSUNAMI." etc.
Thanks to Elise, I've become a big fan of a website called www.snopes.com. Snopes is a great place to debunk urban myths and hoaxes. By the time Elise forwards me the latest amazing pictures of UFO's, I go out to snopes and learn that this email has been making the rounds for the past four years.
Today, however, Elise forwarded an email that struck a cord with me. It speaks to middle aged folks, like me and Elise, who grew up as kids in the 70's. A bit of a stroll down memory lane, at a time when memory was measured in years rather than megabytes.
My appologies if this is the 20th time you've seen this....
TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED the 1930's 40's, 50's, 60's and 70's!
First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they carried us. They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, and mercury laden tuna from a can, and didn't get tested for diabetes.
Then after that trauma, our baby cribs were covered with bright colored lead-based paints. We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention, the risks we took hitchhiking.
As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts or air bags. Riding in the back of a pickup on a warm day was always a > special treat. We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle. We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and drank soda pop with sugar in it, but we weren't overweight because WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!
We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on.No one was able to reach us all day. And we were O.K.
We would spend hours building our go-carts out of slivery wood scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.
We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 99 channels on cable, no video tape movies, no surround sound, no cell phones, no personal computers, no Internet or Internet chat rooms....instead, WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them! We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents.
We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis balls and although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes.
We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them!
When we had it coming, our parents would spank our butts, so we learned that not listening to our parents had consequences.
Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that! The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!
This generation has produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever!The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas. We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we we survived it all.
Elise is a bit gullible, but a good communicator. I don't hear from many counsins these days, yet hardly a day goes by that I don't receive some kind of urgent email communication from Elise looking out for my best interests. Usually, its in the form of a email that begins with "SEND THIS TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW!!", "BILL GATES WILL GIVE YOU $10,000 FOR FORWARDING THIS EMAIL", 'HOW TO DELETE THIS VIRUS FROM YOUR COMPUTER," "HELP THIS CHILD LIVE!" "SEE PICTURES OF THE STRANGE DEEP SEA CREATURES FROM THE TSUNAMI." etc.
Thanks to Elise, I've become a big fan of a website called www.snopes.com. Snopes is a great place to debunk urban myths and hoaxes. By the time Elise forwards me the latest amazing pictures of UFO's, I go out to snopes and learn that this email has been making the rounds for the past four years.
Today, however, Elise forwarded an email that struck a cord with me. It speaks to middle aged folks, like me and Elise, who grew up as kids in the 70's. A bit of a stroll down memory lane, at a time when memory was measured in years rather than megabytes.
My appologies if this is the 20th time you've seen this....
TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED the 1930's 40's, 50's, 60's and 70's!
First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they carried us. They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, and mercury laden tuna from a can, and didn't get tested for diabetes.
Then after that trauma, our baby cribs were covered with bright colored lead-based paints. We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention, the risks we took hitchhiking.
As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts or air bags. Riding in the back of a pickup on a warm day was always a > special treat. We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle. We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and drank soda pop with sugar in it, but we weren't overweight because WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!
We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on.No one was able to reach us all day. And we were O.K.
We would spend hours building our go-carts out of slivery wood scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.
We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 99 channels on cable, no video tape movies, no surround sound, no cell phones, no personal computers, no Internet or Internet chat rooms....instead, WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them! We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents.
We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis balls and although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes.
We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them!
When we had it coming, our parents would spank our butts, so we learned that not listening to our parents had consequences.
Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that! The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!
This generation has produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever!The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas. We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we we survived it all.
Friday, April 01, 2005
The Privilege of a Job
It's been about 16 mos. since I left Microsoft and became an investment advisor. The first year is always the hardest, I'm told. It has certainly been hard.
I'm way off of my target goals and not feeling very good about the future. The main problem is seeing enough people: I've not been able to keep my calendar busy. 15 appointments a week is desirable, but I've been averaging about 8 to 9.
I'm currently spending down some assets for the privilege of being in this job. It's an interesting situation to be in, and obviously such a position is not sustainable for the long term.
I've decided to begin a subtle job search.
I'm way off of my target goals and not feeling very good about the future. The main problem is seeing enough people: I've not been able to keep my calendar busy. 15 appointments a week is desirable, but I've been averaging about 8 to 9.
I'm currently spending down some assets for the privilege of being in this job. It's an interesting situation to be in, and obviously such a position is not sustainable for the long term.
I've decided to begin a subtle job search.
Bees and Tears
Last night, the bees attacked Jorgen (age 5) again. He gets attacked by bees while lying under the covers of his bed at least several times month.
This has been a recurring dream for quite some time. He wakes in the night, screaming and waving his arms wildly trying to fend of imaginary bees. Soon the screaming woke up Pete (age 1) and Pete struggled for an hour to get back to sleep. I probably lost an hour and a half of sleep last night.
The dreams seemed to start last summer after Jorgen and I found a large wasps nest in the hedge. We stood quitely and watched the wasps fly in and out of their hive. He was fascinated and not the least bit scared. Later that summer he was strung by wasps twice in one week*. After that he had a healthy respect of the bugs. But shortly thereafter, the bee dreams started.
He was tired this morning, too. Very hard to get him out of bed, and I could tell it was going to be a crabby day. I offerred him a carrot for his cooperation in getting dressed this morning: I said we could go to the Village Inn restaurant before kindergarten. He likes the cinamon rolls they serve, and this place seems to help fill the void left by the recent closing of our favorite donut place.
When I picked him up from kindergarten today, his teacher pulled me aside and said he had gotten in trouble for not doing his letter writing assignment.
I'm looking forward to the weekend. Maybe we can all get a little extra sleep.
[*after Jorgen was stung, I got out he can of raid and single handedly wiped out thousands of these damn bugs. Within days, they were back occupying the hive. So I hit the hive with poison again. They came back AGAIN, so this time I sprayed it with Raid and doused it with lighter fluid and set it afire. Then I knocked the hive to the ground with a rake. The next day, there were STILL wasps crawling over the remaining bits of hive, trying to salvage wasp larvae, so I took the lawnmover and pulverized the remaining bits of hive, dead wasps, etc. They didn't come back after that.]
This has been a recurring dream for quite some time. He wakes in the night, screaming and waving his arms wildly trying to fend of imaginary bees. Soon the screaming woke up Pete (age 1) and Pete struggled for an hour to get back to sleep. I probably lost an hour and a half of sleep last night.
The dreams seemed to start last summer after Jorgen and I found a large wasps nest in the hedge. We stood quitely and watched the wasps fly in and out of their hive. He was fascinated and not the least bit scared. Later that summer he was strung by wasps twice in one week*. After that he had a healthy respect of the bugs. But shortly thereafter, the bee dreams started.
He was tired this morning, too. Very hard to get him out of bed, and I could tell it was going to be a crabby day. I offerred him a carrot for his cooperation in getting dressed this morning: I said we could go to the Village Inn restaurant before kindergarten. He likes the cinamon rolls they serve, and this place seems to help fill the void left by the recent closing of our favorite donut place.
When I picked him up from kindergarten today, his teacher pulled me aside and said he had gotten in trouble for not doing his letter writing assignment.
I'm looking forward to the weekend. Maybe we can all get a little extra sleep.
[*after Jorgen was stung, I got out he can of raid and single handedly wiped out thousands of these damn bugs. Within days, they were back occupying the hive. So I hit the hive with poison again. They came back AGAIN, so this time I sprayed it with Raid and doused it with lighter fluid and set it afire. Then I knocked the hive to the ground with a rake. The next day, there were STILL wasps crawling over the remaining bits of hive, trying to salvage wasp larvae, so I took the lawnmover and pulverized the remaining bits of hive, dead wasps, etc. They didn't come back after that.]
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