Friday, June 18, 2010

Koman Coulibaly and FIFA: Why do they hate fans?

If you want to know why Soccer (hereafter called Football) is not top ranked sport in the USA, look no further than Referee Koman Coulibaly who made infamous calls that denied team USA a win against Slovenia on July 18.

It has been hours since Coulibaly's horrifically bad day, and still no word on what the penalty was that was so egregious that it denied the USA a well deserved victory.

As SFGate reported, "You'd think the comments on FIFA's website about the USA v Slovenia match would reflect the outrage expressed by many Americans, but not one as of this writing concerns the call. I've got to believe FIFA's eliminating any comment that would call the outcome into question. That's the only reason for such a development and that's outrageous in itself."

Outrageous, in the least.

As Peter King at SI said, "FIFA deserves equal blame, for putting a system in place that allows incompetent officiating to skate free. So what if we never see this official again? The damage is done. He was in far over his head, and he blew the call that decided the game. He can disappear now, and in all nations but America, the story will blow over. Nice racket you've got going, FIFA."

No explanation has been offered for Coulibably's insult to the game, and certainly non is forthcoming. After all, FIFA invests Referees with full and uncontested control over the game.  Make a horrifically bad call, no problem! Need to supplement your Referee income by accepting bribes from a bookie, no problem: there will be no appeal, and no review by FIFA.

There are no rules in FIFA football: but there is "Law."

The "Laws of the Game" are set by FIFA and the conspiring UK Football Associations. The rest of the world has no voice, so shut up! There is a distinctly British traditionalist, classist approach to all of this.  Screw the commoners (or as they are called today, "Fans") -- Football's great tradition of fucking fans must be upheld! The British football aristocracy has only contempt for the fans and the players, much as a nobleman might have contempt for the peons.

FIFA rules Football with an iron fist, recalling the glory days of the Victorian British Empire. It carries forward their world view that life is unfair, and there is nothing the commoners can do about being screwed by the ruling class.  Britain may have lost its empire, but damned if it will lose control of Football!  Damned if they will budge an inch on tradition or open up the "laws of the game" to a democratic or an instant replay process.

Fans around the world know when they've been screwed.  Koman Coulibaly and his FIFA masters are undoubtedly laughing at this cruel boner up the ass to budding US football fans.

Until there is a modicum of justice in FIFA to address or review such incompetent, shitty calls such as Coulibaly's, Americans are justified in telling FIFA to go fuck itself.

Being a fan is a serious long term emotional investment, one that can span generations.  Just as I would advise any woman who is being beating by her "loving" husband to leave him, even if he promises never to do it again, so I would advise US Soccer fans not to give FIFA's game all of your love. You never know when FIFA is going to turn around and smack you in the face for no reason. If Americans want to be smacked in the face by such shit calls, the money is better spent on home grown sports entertainment. American sports are ever answering the fans pleas for fair play in their sporting events. God Bless the NFL, NASCAR, NBA, MLB, NHL, PRB, Tennis, even the National Rugby League for implementing fair play through instant replay.  No, its not perfect, but its a helluva lot better than letting a Koman Coulibaly run roque.

Time for FIFA to follow the lead of those sports.  Americans want fair play. Wake up, FIFA!

Sunday, June 06, 2010

How to fish for bullhead

Bullhead are considered a rough fish in Minnesota. Bullhead are certainly not among the most desirable fish in this state, which prides itself for its high quality fisheries. Yet, fishing for bullhead does provide some unique advantages.

Why fish for bullhead?
  • In Minnesota, the limit for bullhead is 100 and the season never closes.
  • Bullhead can provide fast and plentiful fishing action for kids
  • Fishing bullhead helps take pressure off of more desirable species
  • You can eat them and they are fairly easy to clean (in our muddy lake, they do not taste very good. If you're going to eat them, catch them out of a clear lake with a sandy bottom or a clear stream).
  • Thinning the lake of bullhead helps other forager species by reducing competition, such as a walleye and rock bass.
  • You can toss them in the garbage without having to feel guilty
  • In many states you can cut them up and use them as bait for other fish
  • They can thrive in very low oxygen conditions, and can be stocked where other fish can't survive, such as small ponds and ditches.
  • Since so few people actually fish for bullhead, maybe you'll get lucky set a new state record! It is very unlikely that big one's are "fished out."
How to catch bullhead?
In our lake, it seems we are always hooking bullhead when we don't want to.  I've caught them on lures, and have even seen them try to stuff large sucker minnows down their small bodies. They can be very aggressive when there is something to eat, even when its twice their size.

Yet, set out to intentionally catch bullhead and you will find there is some technique to catching these buggers. The biggest problem we have is getting the bait past the sunfish in our lake, down to the bottom where most of the bullhead are.  To accomplish this, but sure to use a heavy weight that will take your hook right down to the bottom.  Bullhead can out-muscle other fish on the lake bottom.

What kind of bait to use when catching bullhead?
Bullhead will eat anything and everything. Generally, the smellier the bait, the better.  Worms make great bait for bullhead, but sunfish will also aggressively fight for worms.  I've found that leeches work well. If you bunch a leech on a hook, it is more difficult for the sunfish to eat, yet bullhead and their larger mouths can take them in quite easily. The other advantage of a leech is that the skin is much tougher than a worm and it is more difficult for sunfish to tear a leech off the hook.

Tip: bullhead have a sense of smell that is better than a bloodhound. Plant some bait in a container at the bottom of the lake and you can bring in a swarm of bullhead. I like to use plastic strawberry or blueberry containers that have many slits to drain water; just fill it with worms or even cut up bullhead, and drop it into the water at the end of your dock. Soon you will have bullhead sniffing around. Be sure to retrieve the container when you are done fishing.

The special equipment we use for catching bullhead includes a standard rod and reel, a medium size weighted hook (to send it to the bottom quickly), a thick workmans glove for handling the bullhead (they are slippery, and they have nasty spines that can be painful if you are stuck), and a five gallon bucket for containing our catch. Leeches, worms or any other kind of bait will work.

Our "family record" for catching bullhead stands at 42 black bullhead.  Generally we quit for lack of endurance, rather than lack of bullhead action. To encourage the kids interest in fishing, I pay them a bounty of 10 cents per bullhead. It keeps my kids busy all afternoon and only sets me back about $2.

Interesting facts about bullhead
They are a North American native species of fish
They are found in the fossil record going back at least 300 million years
They have an incredible sense of smell, better than any dog
They can "smell" with most of their body
There are three main species: black, yellow and brown
They can survive very low oxygen conditions

Enjoy!